Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Making a mole out of a mountain

Whenever I introduced a new boyfriend to my mother she would say, “You think he´s perfect, because you haven´t seen the mole on his nose yet.” I, would call my mother ridiculous (very softly under my breath, in a dark room, in a house three miles away). The paragon of manhood I was currently dating most certainly did not have a freckle, let alone a mole on his chiseled nose. But, sure enough, towards the end of the relationship, there it would appear, a lump that deserved its own flag and national anthem, right there on the contestant-for-the-Quasimodo-look-a-like-contest´s nose.

Love is not blind. You would do well to remember that just because you do not want to be aware of a person´s faults, does not mean they´re not there.

Shutting your eyes to a person´s defects is the worse disservice you can do them. We are all human, and we all posses those fine little quirks that separate us from Vulcans.

In looking for your ideal partner, you should not think of a one-sided fantasy, all good, no bad. Instead, think which defects you can live with, and which are completely out of the question. Be honest with yourself, no matter how small and petty you think you´re being. I can´t stand hairy backs. Neither can I stand liars. These are both things I know I can´t live with.

If you do this, you will be able to stare that mountain of a mole right in the nose and answer, “Yes, I see it. Isn´t it adorable?”

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