How do I know it works?

You, like everybody else, may know more than one divorced couple.  There are countless marriage counselors and even more divorce-attorneys.  

You have to wonder if there is no way of avoiding this breakdown in personal relationships. What do successful couples have in common?

Ask around.  You will most likely find that they had a pretty well established notion of what they wanted in a partner.  Most importantly, they knew what they wouldn´t accept.  

This is what I call "the list".  It comes down to basically getting to ink and paper a list of qualities you find necessary in your mate and the defects you will not tolerate.

If this goes against your notion of love as an overshadowing emotion that renders your brain useless, bear in mind that choosing your life companion is much more than feeling "in love". It is about deciding, every day, to love the person you wake up to.

You have wonderful stories of great -and no so great- relationships.  Please post them, especially how you decided to get together with that person.